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Help during the Storm – How the Lord helped me through the pain of a miscarriage

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In Mathew chp.8 verses 23 to 28 we have the account of Jesus in the boat with the disciples as they were crossing the lake. Jesus was asleep in the boat when the storm struck, the disciples were in fear of their lives, they woke Jesus. He rebuked the storm and instantly the storm ceased and the water went calm. In an instant Jesus delivered them from a situation they had no control over.

How many times in life do we encounter violent storms sometimes completely unexpected. Some storms are life threatening and others make us look for shelter, sometimes causing us to retreat from life. It is just to hard.

The truth is there will always be storms in life. How wonderful it is to know we can have a lifesaver who is always on duty to rescue us. Two years after becoming a Christian I encountered my first big storm. I was four months into the pregnancy of my fourth child when I began to have difficulties, the Doctor said that if I stay off my  feet things might settle down. He suggested I go to hospital. I assured him I would make sure I rested at home. With three little boys under the age of three, needless to say this did not really work out as I refused to let my husband organise any help for me. I thought ‘I can do this’.

Then, tragedy struck…

When I had the miscarriage I was so full of heartache and grief I was sure I was losing my grip. Every time I was alone a wave of sadness for my little baby that I was never going to hold, would come over me and the tears would flow. It became so intense that I was not able to control this. I remember thinking is this the beginning of some sort of mental breakdown.

In my desperation I cried out to Jesus, “help me Jesus I can’t keep doing this I have a husband and three little ones depending on me.” No one knew what was happening to me as I had been hiding how I felt even from my husband.

I still remember to this day I was standing at the kitchen sink doing dishes, it was a weekend and through the window I could see my husband in the backyard gardening, the boys were ” helping” him.  As I cried out for help I found my mind did not go to the baby, that wave of sadness did not envelope me.  I began to realize God was touching me. Then I felt it, I can only describe it as a warm feeling coming over me starting from my head and flowing down through every part of my being. Never had I felt anything like this before it was like being enveloped in a love so powerful it removed any grief any sadness that I might have felt. Truly my mourning had turned to joy.

Truly my mourning had turned to joy.

As I was thanking Jesus for answering my cry for help, this thought entered my mind. I knew it was not me because it seemed to come from nowhere.

Your little boy is with Me, when you come to Heaven, you will know him and he will recognise you as his mother.”

I began to thank my Lord, to think He would do all this for me truly I was overwhelmed with a feeling of wonder that I can’t put into words.

From that moment on I never had another sad thought for my baby only happiness.

The Lord blessed my husband and myself a few years later with another beautiful baby boy. We can never lose in life, when our trust is in  the One who is in our boat, encountering every storm with us.

Praise His Wonderful Name.

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